The reason for this random blogging is because I want to be honest with everyone and to those especially who have struggles. I’ve had a pretty bad week, and weekend. I think dinner with my mom and dressing up with her was the best part of my weekend but the rest I was just overthinking. I was overthinking about school, about what will happen if I never end up doing anything from so much education, and lastly I feel so alone. Very alone. I feel like when I need company it’s not there and it hurts. I miss the days I had so many people around me and I have to get used to the fact my life isn’t like it was in high school or beginning of college, I’m grown up and it’s scary to grow up.
Binging has been a huge temptation for me in this time. I’ve done good and haven’t tried but I’ve been feeling empty and I’m not afraid to admit it because I’m not wonder woman, I’m only human. It has been a very long time I don’t feel this bad so I’m struggling to get rid of this weight over my shoulders. I almost feel like this is a test, that if I give in to binging or laxatives I’ll lose and believe me I don’t want to lose. My body has been feeling a little strange but most likely it is the emotional stress killing me right now.
Any advice or words of encouragement will be very helpful right now. I hope everyone else is feeling great. i promise next time there will be a better blog post that isn’t so gloomy. Got to go!